I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
