How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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