He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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