Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
