Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
