I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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