I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize