I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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