i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Holy sore nipples Batman
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
