I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
pray to the hookup gods
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
