whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
