i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
