I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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