we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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