i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize