now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
