found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
