Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
