i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
