Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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