Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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