just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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