in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
