if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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