PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
