i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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