I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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