I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
