we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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