Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
