That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
