Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
