There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize