no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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