sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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