i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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