Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
