am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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