Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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