I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
