Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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