I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize