if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
