FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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