At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
