Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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