Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
