Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
