Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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