direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
