I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
