i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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