Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
