I need help removing her.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
