just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
