Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
