Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
