brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
