hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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