can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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