I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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