Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
