I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize